Hebrews 13; James 1-3
Self-Imposed Speech Restriction
Imagine what your life might be like with a speech impediment. What if you stuttered? If you got ‘stuck’ on certain consonants or vowels and couldn’t stop repeating them, even while the people around you stared, or laughed. What if you felt like other people really were listening to every word?
The conclusion of Hebrews and first three chapters of James focus on ‘faith in action’. We are encouraged to love one another as brothers and sisters, especially those that are disenfranchised, poor, and suffering. We are asked to show Christ’s love in abundance to anyone he puts in our path – not just to those people we might choose as friends.
Then, James chapter 3 warns us about the dangers of imagining ourselves as teachers, the dangers of speaking. I think it is natural to want to tell others about our faith and our worldview – especially when they come to us in the midst of difficult times. I’ve spent a great deal of effort trying to explain how I really feel, especially when writing to someone who has experienced a death or difficulty in their family.
When I watch a particularly disturbing documentary on genocide or starvation in the world, I feel compelled to talk about it, to find words to explain it, to answer the questions it raises. This reality stuck out to me as I read this section. Why is it that I don’t feel compelled to do something first? Even praying? Seeing chapter 3 in the midst of all this rhetoric about the importance of deeds and actions made me realize how much time I spend talking, and how little of my time is spent doing.
Then, on TV I saw a 20 year old young man talking about his lifelong struggle with stuttering. “I didn’t really talk much from the time I went to school until I was about 14 years old. I stuttered, and didn’t know how to control it, and I would get stuck on words and people made fun of me. I couldn’t stop stuttering, so I just stopped talking. But during that whole time period I listened and watched the kids around me intently and I use everything I learned to help these kids today.”
The young man went on to describe how his mother encouraged him to write, because he could never talk about his feelings easily. He expressed himself through poetry and art and music, and eventually he began to master his stuttering and then all of a sudden, it just stopped bothering him. He still stutters, but he also teaches in an after school program for at-risk children, and uses creative expression like art and dance to teach children how to communicate their feelings. He described how easy he found it to identify children that need someone to speak for them, and the joy he took in filling that role because someone had done the same for him. He became a shepherd for others because a few people led him through a difficult disability by responding to his needs.
Lots of things about this story moved me, but what I saw most was how the boy was met where he was. He had a speech disorder that he couldn’t control, and his mother didn’t just talk to him about it. She showed him that her love was bigger than words. The boy became a man that could say, “My mother showed me there are lots of ways for a family to express love that don’t require words.” A boy that was shy, sad, and below average in every way grew up to stand in front of a room of 30 kids encouraging them day after day to face their fears, and confront their emotions through expression. Wow.
Hebrews and James are both good at reminding me that a humble heart is a good thing. I need to talk less, because in my life I have noticed a direct correlation: The more I talk, the more I only see myself. This young man’s story helped me see the value in listening for God, and watching for opportunities to serve.
I also can see my own ‘stutters’ – the things that come out of my mouth, as if I can’t control them, when I am tired, over-anxious, or exasperated. The people around me don’t make fun of me when I begin to worry or let off steam, but as Christians we are called to lift those things up in faith. I wonder if I would give in to those stutters less if I admitted to God how destructive and unproductive they really are.
Melanie
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